Faith - that is difference making

I have an interesting question to pose to you all today. Is your goal in life, "to make a difference?" Do you want to feel self worth by making a difference in other people's lives? I have been doing a Bible study for the last several weeks with some other women at church. We have been exploring the idea that 'you matter more than you think', and that 'you do and can make a difference in other people's lives.'

Now, don't get me wrong, I hope I make a positive difference in other people's lives, and I am not knocking anyone for having the goal of making a difference. But the thing is, I don't live my life by doing different things in hopes that I am making a difference. Maybe that is crazy? For me, I am motivated to learn more about Christ and live a Christ-like life. If God would like to use the things that I do, or say, or the way I act in order to make a difference, then that is wonderful. I am just not motivated in what I do, hoping that I am making a difference.

I am sure some of you are reading this and thinking, huh. But I just realized why this Bible study and book has been bothering me. Its been a laundry list of the things this woman has done to make a difference or ways she is affecting other's lives. For whatever reason, I keep thinking I should send her a little hand so she can pat herself on the back. I do understand that there are many women that need to know that the little things they do are making a difference in otheres lives. But I have to admit, for better or for worse, I don't really want to know if I am making a difference all the time.

Honestly, that has been such a recurring theme in my life this past week. I think sometimes we get caught up in thinking that WE make a difference or someone else makes a difference, but in reality God is making the difference. I truly believe that. That last two Sundays the sermon has been following Moses and the Israelites after they had been led out of Egypt. They didn't have any food, but God gave them manna to eat. Then in the New Testament the Disciples referenced that Moses had provided the people manna, but it wasn't Moses it was God.

Sometimes, we are like those disciples. Think about it. How many times do we think that we or others are the reasons for blessings bestowed upon us? It is not us or them, it is God. After all this reflection, I am amazed when God takes things that people do without any motivation to make a difference in other peoples lives. I had a friend that was asked over a year ago to officiate a wedding. Recently the wedding was approaching and she was expressing to me self doubt as to whether or not she was the right pastor for the job. After thinking about it, I realized that although she may never know the difference she made in their lives, I think God does. I have faith that her caring, generous and understanding spirit must have been the reason God put these particular people in her life to counsel and marry.

And for all of us that aren't pastors and don't have that kind of contact with people, I think that things we do and say, God still uses to make the difference. More times than not I feel like the things I do and say are used by God to teach people - what not to do. But you know, if I write something that God uses in other's lives for good, its not because of ME its because of him. I guess my point is - I have a hard enough time trying to live a life that is pleasing to God. I am not in a place that I can add to that trying to make a difference all the time. So, I just have faith that God can use flawed, sinning people to make a difference - even when they don't know it. I truly believe that if we all turn our hearts and attention on our own faith journey, God will use us and our faith to make a difference.