1-2-3...It's Magic

I went back to the luncheon today with my boss. Remember the luncheon that inspired the post about "What's in your walker bag?" Well this time around she introduced me to the woman that runs the thing, and she insisted that we sit at the first time visitors table since I hadn't received the first time visitor treatment my first time around. People, the old lady they had posted to sit at that table, to welcome folks could not hear!

Let me just stop right here and make it clear, I have terrible hearing. Seriously I have considerable hearing loss. If you are talking to me and you think I am saying something crazy in response to a question, its because I didn't hear what you said. This past summer I was having dinner with some friends in Birmingham. One of them started telling us about her neighbor that died from a "toothache." She only said "toothache" once, and I thought she said "toupee". So she was going on and on about how he had fever and infection in his head and his wife didn't know what to do and that he died. So, the entire time she is talking I am trying to figure out how the "toupee" killed him, and I finally said "was it the glue?" And they all looked at me and said "What?" And I said "the glue from the toupee, is that what caused the infection?"

Back to my point. Why would you assign someone to greet new people if they can't hear? This made no sense to me. You feel like you are yelling at them, and you kind of are, and they quite frankly are yelling at you. Awkward, but she was sweet and I now have a new friend, although she spelled her name for me quite a few times.

As the prayer was being said, to open the luncheon into a new month, I realized this month was devoted to "relationships." Since my boss and I are both single, we both looked at each other and said "oh this is going to be helpful." Yeah, right. The first two weeks are devoted to parenting and the last two are devoted to marriage. Great! The speaker for today started by saying this lecture was for all the parents, and grandparents in the room, and for people who "just know some children." His lecture was based on his 1-2-3 Magic Parenting theory. I am sorry but I am not going to use some "Stop behavior" magic theory or "start behavior" magic theory on "some kids that I happen to know." I am not Jedi-Mindtricking kids that aren't my own. Do you want me Jedi-Mindtricking your kids? Didn't think so.

Please don't take this as me discouraging people from learning to be better parents. In fact, I did find this talk a little coincidental because earlier this morning I told one of my friends with kids, that I respected the fact that she went to a parenting workshop that our church had. I think this says a lot about a person and a parent, especially when they are already really good parents. Yes, it was probably a cheesy thing to tell her, but I personally think its important to tell people things like that.

Although I did point out to her that her youngest son and I were from the same mold, and she agreed! Let me tell you about our mold, we can easily show this 1-2-3 Parenting Magician the holes in the "Stop" and "start" theories. Anyway after five minutes of the parenting lecture, I was ready for my new friend to start spelling her name for me again...which happened to be... PRAY....

Comments

Anonymous said…
you can come Jedi-Mindtrick my puppies if you want to.

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