You Will Not Believe This!
You guys aren't going to believe this, but I can't make this stuff up. I was not going to tell everyone about this, but it is too the point that it is hilarious. Last week I joined eHarmony.com. Now, let me say I only joined in order to get another unnamed person to join, but nevertheless I did join. I am not sure if any of you have experience with this, but the test took at least an hour to fill out. It was extremely detailed and was a little unnerving to me that they got that personal.
When I told Grandmother about it she started laughing. Then she said, "you know last week Papa and I were watching the Andy Griffith episode where Goober answered an ad in the paper to take a psychological test in order to be matched with his soul mate." She went on to tell me how funny it was to them, and she said this could turn out like that! I thought, great I am being compared to Goober, from the Andy Griffith show. Goober people, not even Gomer, who incidentally left the show and joined the marines in order to start his own show, "Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.". Oh no, I had to be compared to Goober, Gomer's cousin for crying out loud, referred to on Wikipedia as "Mayberry's Village Idiot"! I let her look at some of the guys. Mother thought this was very funny. Grandmother would say "Oh no, I don't like his looks" or then she would say "now, he is cute." But one guy was an airline pilot, and she said "Oh no, you can't go out with him. They are known to have affairs in other cities, haven't you watched Airport lately?"
Anyway, I am guessing you want to know about the matches. The first night they sent seven matches. At first I thought this was awesome, but now I realize they send you seven new matches a day. After the first batch of matches I was feeling like a desperate loser because these guys were terrible. I expressed this feeling to a friend of mine, and he reminded me that two of his family members have married people on eHarmony. Then he called me stuck up and told me I needed to broaden my horizons. So, I gave it another shot and the next day the people they sent weren't bad.
But here is the thing, the way you communicate is complicated. If you would like to "start communication" you are given a list of twenty questions that have multiple choice answers, and then you pick five questions to send to them. Then they answer your questions and send you five questions they have chosen for you to answer. This might sound all well and good, but the questions are kind of dumb. So, I picked out a ringer question and depending on their answer I decide if I like them.
My ringer question is, "Which of the following quirks would bother you most about your partner?" A) uses poor grammar B) tends to cling to you in social situations C) is not familiar with current events D) superstitious or E) create your own answer. I am going to let you guess which answer I am looking for, actually I would love to know which answer you think I am looking for.
I am only signed up for a month, and I am going to unsubscribe at the end of it. The people who know about this keep telling me I have to go on at least one date out of this experience. I am not sure if that will happen. Every time I would look at the matches this weekend Dad would say, "you are obsessed." And I would say, "no I am not." And then later he would say, "well, what do they look like." And I would say, "Come look at them." Then he would say, "No, I do not want my son-in-law coming from the internet." Too funny....
When I told Grandmother about it she started laughing. Then she said, "you know last week Papa and I were watching the Andy Griffith episode where Goober answered an ad in the paper to take a psychological test in order to be matched with his soul mate." She went on to tell me how funny it was to them, and she said this could turn out like that! I thought, great I am being compared to Goober, from the Andy Griffith show. Goober people, not even Gomer, who incidentally left the show and joined the marines in order to start his own show, "Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.". Oh no, I had to be compared to Goober, Gomer's cousin for crying out loud, referred to on Wikipedia as "Mayberry's Village Idiot"! I let her look at some of the guys. Mother thought this was very funny. Grandmother would say "Oh no, I don't like his looks" or then she would say "now, he is cute." But one guy was an airline pilot, and she said "Oh no, you can't go out with him. They are known to have affairs in other cities, haven't you watched Airport lately?"
Anyway, I am guessing you want to know about the matches. The first night they sent seven matches. At first I thought this was awesome, but now I realize they send you seven new matches a day. After the first batch of matches I was feeling like a desperate loser because these guys were terrible. I expressed this feeling to a friend of mine, and he reminded me that two of his family members have married people on eHarmony. Then he called me stuck up and told me I needed to broaden my horizons. So, I gave it another shot and the next day the people they sent weren't bad.
But here is the thing, the way you communicate is complicated. If you would like to "start communication" you are given a list of twenty questions that have multiple choice answers, and then you pick five questions to send to them. Then they answer your questions and send you five questions they have chosen for you to answer. This might sound all well and good, but the questions are kind of dumb. So, I picked out a ringer question and depending on their answer I decide if I like them.
My ringer question is, "Which of the following quirks would bother you most about your partner?" A) uses poor grammar B) tends to cling to you in social situations C) is not familiar with current events D) superstitious or E) create your own answer. I am going to let you guess which answer I am looking for, actually I would love to know which answer you think I am looking for.
I am only signed up for a month, and I am going to unsubscribe at the end of it. The people who know about this keep telling me I have to go on at least one date out of this experience. I am not sure if that will happen. Every time I would look at the matches this weekend Dad would say, "you are obsessed." And I would say, "no I am not." And then later he would say, "well, what do they look like." And I would say, "Come look at them." Then he would say, "No, I do not want my son-in-law coming from the internet." Too funny....
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