Did you inherit your P.O. box?
Back in the day I watched every episode of Sex and the City, when it originally aired on HBO. I loved it! (Don't judge.) I never realized that one day I would really identify with so much of the story line. Okay people, I am not talking about all the random sex. What I am talking about is the "being single" plot line.
Tonight I watched Season Five for the first time in a long time. As I was watching the episode "Anchors Away," which features Carrie "dating her city" - New York, I got to thinking about how different it is being a single person in the South versus a single person in the North. I am sure some of you are skeptical of this, but trust me this is totally true.
When I lived in D.C., everyone was single. No one talked about marriage, or children, or all that goes into those two things. People talked about politics, business, world affairs, etc. I can't remember one conversation about domestic affairs, well, that wasn't couched in political speak. Even when people did "date," the only real drama that occurred, and had to be discussed in conversation, was when a "D" was dating an "R", or when a staffer was "dating" a politician.
I also loved the fact that everyone in the North is transient. No one is really "from" anywhere. The anonymousness of that is and was comforting to my gypsy soul.
Then I moved back South, and all anyone wanted to talk about was finding someone to settle down with in order to get married. Once these people do get married, they have to talk about bearing children, then child birth, then finding a school...see where this is going? (Don't get me wrong, I love my married friends and their babies. I dearly adore my goddaughter! Marriage and babies are just a totally different conversation).
I promise that I am not the only person who recognizes this truth. A southern single friend of mine called this weekend to lament over this problem. For the record, she is looking to move North in the near future. She told me about all of these dinners with friends in which she feels as though she has nothing to contribute because she doesn't know the best day care or child birthing technique.
With all of this in mind, I came to the conclusion this evening that Carrie Bradshaw had it a lot easier than Katie Bradshaw - and all other Southern Single Women. I never saw Carrie Bradshaw have to attend linen showers with little old women asking her if she was going to be "the next one to get married." I never saw Carrie's grandmother ask her, with tear filled eyes, if she would "ever have all of this?" Oh no, Carrie always had her fall back - her city - where she would always feel "normal" being single, and anonymous, and transient.
I realize I sound pretty pessimistic, but underneath this pessimism there is a reason that I am still living in the South. This place has a strong pull on you. It has this "something" that is unexplainable. Like knowing that my family has lived and worked the same land for seven generations - I guess you could call that "having roots." Or knowing that although my family does not always get along, they will be the first people to show up in signs of trouble. (Or to have a drink with you to make the trouble go away.)
My friend and favorite singer-songwriter, Kate Campbell, writes a lot about the South. She heard an interview with Eudora Welty on PBS in which Eudora said, "the South is about more than hate." Kate went on to write a song about that sentiment which says, "I was taught by elders wiser, Love your neighbor, love your God. Never saw a cross on fire. Never saw an angry mob. I saw sweet magnolia blossoms, I chased lightening bugs at night. Never dreaming others, Saw our way of life, In black and white."
I think it is a perspective issue. People in the North are more concerned with the global world and people in the South are more concerned with their own personal community. I dare say that people in the South should try and think more globally, but maybe the Carrie Bradshaw's of the North could stand to be more family oriented.
So, Carrie Bradshaw, you can have your city. And I, will take my South. Don't get me wrong, I will still have my rampages to get people to be a little less personal oriented, but I will take comfort in this way of life. And even though this gypsy soul of mine might move back North one day, I will always hold a dear place in my heart for the South. Others may see simple people, but I choose to see the "lightning bugs at night," those "sweet magnolia blossoms," and relish the fact that I have roots in a place where people take pride in every little thing they own, to the point that even P.O. boxes can be inherited...
Tonight I watched Season Five for the first time in a long time. As I was watching the episode "Anchors Away," which features Carrie "dating her city" - New York, I got to thinking about how different it is being a single person in the South versus a single person in the North. I am sure some of you are skeptical of this, but trust me this is totally true.
When I lived in D.C., everyone was single. No one talked about marriage, or children, or all that goes into those two things. People talked about politics, business, world affairs, etc. I can't remember one conversation about domestic affairs, well, that wasn't couched in political speak. Even when people did "date," the only real drama that occurred, and had to be discussed in conversation, was when a "D" was dating an "R", or when a staffer was "dating" a politician.
I also loved the fact that everyone in the North is transient. No one is really "from" anywhere. The anonymousness of that is and was comforting to my gypsy soul.
Then I moved back South, and all anyone wanted to talk about was finding someone to settle down with in order to get married. Once these people do get married, they have to talk about bearing children, then child birth, then finding a school...see where this is going? (Don't get me wrong, I love my married friends and their babies. I dearly adore my goddaughter! Marriage and babies are just a totally different conversation).
I promise that I am not the only person who recognizes this truth. A southern single friend of mine called this weekend to lament over this problem. For the record, she is looking to move North in the near future. She told me about all of these dinners with friends in which she feels as though she has nothing to contribute because she doesn't know the best day care or child birthing technique.
With all of this in mind, I came to the conclusion this evening that Carrie Bradshaw had it a lot easier than Katie Bradshaw - and all other Southern Single Women. I never saw Carrie Bradshaw have to attend linen showers with little old women asking her if she was going to be "the next one to get married." I never saw Carrie's grandmother ask her, with tear filled eyes, if she would "ever have all of this?" Oh no, Carrie always had her fall back - her city - where she would always feel "normal" being single, and anonymous, and transient.
I realize I sound pretty pessimistic, but underneath this pessimism there is a reason that I am still living in the South. This place has a strong pull on you. It has this "something" that is unexplainable. Like knowing that my family has lived and worked the same land for seven generations - I guess you could call that "having roots." Or knowing that although my family does not always get along, they will be the first people to show up in signs of trouble. (Or to have a drink with you to make the trouble go away.)
My friend and favorite singer-songwriter, Kate Campbell, writes a lot about the South. She heard an interview with Eudora Welty on PBS in which Eudora said, "the South is about more than hate." Kate went on to write a song about that sentiment which says, "I was taught by elders wiser, Love your neighbor, love your God. Never saw a cross on fire. Never saw an angry mob. I saw sweet magnolia blossoms, I chased lightening bugs at night. Never dreaming others, Saw our way of life, In black and white."
I think it is a perspective issue. People in the North are more concerned with the global world and people in the South are more concerned with their own personal community. I dare say that people in the South should try and think more globally, but maybe the Carrie Bradshaw's of the North could stand to be more family oriented.
So, Carrie Bradshaw, you can have your city. And I, will take my South. Don't get me wrong, I will still have my rampages to get people to be a little less personal oriented, but I will take comfort in this way of life. And even though this gypsy soul of mine might move back North one day, I will always hold a dear place in my heart for the South. Others may see simple people, but I choose to see the "lightning bugs at night," those "sweet magnolia blossoms," and relish the fact that I have roots in a place where people take pride in every little thing they own, to the point that even P.O. boxes can be inherited...
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