It isn't looking good for me
Do any of you watch the Bachelorette? I used to watch the Bachelor. In fact, I was really into it the season with Travis and the girl he picked in Nashville - I can't remember her name. Anyway, I would read Lincee's blogs and I was really into it. Who is Lincee? I have know idea really. She started this re-cap email during the first or second season and sent it to friends. Her friends were friends of my friends and I got the email. Hilarious. You can keep up with her recaps here.
Anyway, I must admit after that season I was done with the Bachelor. Oh, except for last year about this time when people from ABC's Bachelor were in town to interview potential girls to be on the show. A friend that lives in town wanted to go, and I seemed to be the only other person available to go with her to try out. It was at the baseball field which is so random. We go in and she fills out the forms - I of course being a lawyer have to read through them all and make sure she isn't signing her life away. Then we go back to where they had the camera set up. She is up there answering the questions, that she practiced a million times, so I start talking to the people from the Bachelor. (I guess the interns as Lincee puts it.) They were actually really cool. We were just chatting away and she said - "you should go up and try out." I said - "um no." And she said "oh come on." And I said "uh no." (with my "you have got to be kidding me I wouldn't embarrass myself like that in a million years" face.) She just laughed. On the way out this creepy guy from a radio station stopped us so he could interview my friend on the radio about the auditions. She declined - thank goodness (she still had some good judgment left.) This was my last encounter with the Bachelor...until Monday night.
One of my friends had a birthday on Monday. First let me say - I don't have many single friends in this town. I can think of three at this moment. (This is also part of the reason I am ready to move.) So, I spend a lot of town cooking out and hanging out with other couples. This was one of those times. My friend and her husband, another couple, and I went out to dinner and then back to their house to watch - The Bachelorette. Its' her birthday people so you do what the birthday girl wants to do. They catch me up on who this Jillian person is and we settle in to meet the men....
For the most part they were all good looking (if you are a guy reading this, never wear a lime green or teal shirt under a suit), until they opened their mouths. How many cliches, cheesy comments, and all out ridiculousness can a group of 30 men come up with? A LOT. They would get out of the limo and walk up to her and say the most terrible comments ever. One guy was a commercial pilot and in the introductory material it had a little clip about him. It showed him flying a little Cessna around and he said "flying is an art." I said, "flying a commercial plane might be an art, but flying a Cessna is a crap shoot." When he got out of the limo, he gave her a pair of wings. Gag me. I almost lost my dinner. Later in the show he said "I am looking for the co-pilot of my life, and I would die for my wife, my best friend." Seriously?
They all had these terrible one liners to try and make her like them. One dude lost all train of thought. He just stood there and finally looked at her like "I got nothing." Mike (one of the husbands) and I were like "well, at least he didn't say anything terrible." We rooted for him and he got the first impression rose. Hilarious. One dude had a foot fetish and had no problem explaining it to the camera. He somehow managed to get her to take off her shoes and put them in the pool so that he could see if they were "mangled, or blue, and to see if she had toe jam, or corns." His words- not mine. Now the whole world knows... After the rose ceremony the guys that got kicked off acted like girls. One said "she must not like awesome guys."
Reflecting upon the entire show I have been thinking a) If I were Jillian I would have said next to every guy that got out of the limo and b) if these are the kind of guys I have left to choose from at this age - I will be single forever.
Anyway, I must admit after that season I was done with the Bachelor. Oh, except for last year about this time when people from ABC's Bachelor were in town to interview potential girls to be on the show. A friend that lives in town wanted to go, and I seemed to be the only other person available to go with her to try out. It was at the baseball field which is so random. We go in and she fills out the forms - I of course being a lawyer have to read through them all and make sure she isn't signing her life away. Then we go back to where they had the camera set up. She is up there answering the questions, that she practiced a million times, so I start talking to the people from the Bachelor. (I guess the interns as Lincee puts it.) They were actually really cool. We were just chatting away and she said - "you should go up and try out." I said - "um no." And she said "oh come on." And I said "uh no." (with my "you have got to be kidding me I wouldn't embarrass myself like that in a million years" face.) She just laughed. On the way out this creepy guy from a radio station stopped us so he could interview my friend on the radio about the auditions. She declined - thank goodness (she still had some good judgment left.) This was my last encounter with the Bachelor...until Monday night.
One of my friends had a birthday on Monday. First let me say - I don't have many single friends in this town. I can think of three at this moment. (This is also part of the reason I am ready to move.) So, I spend a lot of town cooking out and hanging out with other couples. This was one of those times. My friend and her husband, another couple, and I went out to dinner and then back to their house to watch - The Bachelorette. Its' her birthday people so you do what the birthday girl wants to do. They catch me up on who this Jillian person is and we settle in to meet the men....
For the most part they were all good looking (if you are a guy reading this, never wear a lime green or teal shirt under a suit), until they opened their mouths. How many cliches, cheesy comments, and all out ridiculousness can a group of 30 men come up with? A LOT. They would get out of the limo and walk up to her and say the most terrible comments ever. One guy was a commercial pilot and in the introductory material it had a little clip about him. It showed him flying a little Cessna around and he said "flying is an art." I said, "flying a commercial plane might be an art, but flying a Cessna is a crap shoot." When he got out of the limo, he gave her a pair of wings. Gag me. I almost lost my dinner. Later in the show he said "I am looking for the co-pilot of my life, and I would die for my wife, my best friend." Seriously?
They all had these terrible one liners to try and make her like them. One dude lost all train of thought. He just stood there and finally looked at her like "I got nothing." Mike (one of the husbands) and I were like "well, at least he didn't say anything terrible." We rooted for him and he got the first impression rose. Hilarious. One dude had a foot fetish and had no problem explaining it to the camera. He somehow managed to get her to take off her shoes and put them in the pool so that he could see if they were "mangled, or blue, and to see if she had toe jam, or corns." His words- not mine. Now the whole world knows... After the rose ceremony the guys that got kicked off acted like girls. One said "she must not like awesome guys."
Reflecting upon the entire show I have been thinking a) If I were Jillian I would have said next to every guy that got out of the limo and b) if these are the kind of guys I have left to choose from at this age - I will be single forever.
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