Payback Might Be....Bad
Today I had lunch with a friend of mine and her two little boys. First, let me tell you these are really good kids and they are very well mannered. Second, my friend has lots of "rules", maybe my parents gave me lots of "rules" but I think they just gave me the evil eye most of the time. And when I decided I didn't care if I got in trouble at home, then I would just do what I wanted. In fact, when I was a small child (I don't even remember this) I would do whatever it was I was going to do and then go say "mom I did _____ I am going to go stand in the corner now."
Anyway, I have this problem with my friends' kids. See, I will laugh at the things they do that gets them in trouble. They do something funny/kinda wrong + Me laughing = The Parent looking at me and the kid doing whatever it was Xs 10. I remarked today, "If I ever have children, I am going to get paid back big time. Not so much for what I did as a kid, but for egging my friends' kids own." The funny thing is, she completely agreed... But hey, it was funny when they said "I bet this pizza is going to taste like brains..." Its funny - you know you chuckled just now reading it.
So, after thinking about it all day, I think I am going to get paid back for a little more than egging children on today. There were a couple of things I DID that might come back to haunt me. I don't remember a lot of things about my childhood, but the things I do remember I can recall with vivid detail. For instance, when I was about five, the daughter of one of my mom's friends volunteered, or maybe she was babysitting me - either way, she took me to Water World, the only water park in Dothan. She was probably a senior in high school or something and she had on this bikini. So, we are out swimming in the big wave pool, without a float, when the waves started. I remember having the thought that I was going to drown and panic set in. So in my haste to get to the side, to get out of the DEEP in, I accidentally grabbed her bathing suite top and it came off and floated to the bottom of the pool. All I remember after that was her diving to the bottom of the pool to retrieve her top. Obviously I survived, but I don't remember how. And I am sure she wanted to kill me, but I will never forget that and I suspect payback will be received at some point.
Second, I have to make a slight confession. As a child I had a small bladder. Actually it was smaller than small, but I had a bit of a problem with wetting the bed. And even to this day if you tickle me I will pee in my pants. I can't help it. (My mom is most likely going to call me after reading this and say something along the lines of "if you ever wanted a political career" or "your career blah blah" but hey, we all know any political career I may have wanted ended the day I started this blog - so, oh well, at least you know the truth.) Its like a dog shaking his leg when you rub his belly. Tickle me and I will pee. So, a family friend who was probably in high school had me on her lap. I said very clearly, "don't tickle me or I will pee on you." She obviously didn't believe me and started tickling me, and sure enough I peed on her leg. I can feel the payback coming at any moment.
I bet you are wondering, "what in the world is she going to do when she has children?" Don't worry I am taking note from my friend with the "rules" and they actually work. I am hoping they will work enough to buffer some of the payback - but hey thats what makes life fun, huh.
Anyway, I have this problem with my friends' kids. See, I will laugh at the things they do that gets them in trouble. They do something funny/kinda wrong + Me laughing = The Parent looking at me and the kid doing whatever it was Xs 10. I remarked today, "If I ever have children, I am going to get paid back big time. Not so much for what I did as a kid, but for egging my friends' kids own." The funny thing is, she completely agreed... But hey, it was funny when they said "I bet this pizza is going to taste like brains..." Its funny - you know you chuckled just now reading it.
So, after thinking about it all day, I think I am going to get paid back for a little more than egging children on today. There were a couple of things I DID that might come back to haunt me. I don't remember a lot of things about my childhood, but the things I do remember I can recall with vivid detail. For instance, when I was about five, the daughter of one of my mom's friends volunteered, or maybe she was babysitting me - either way, she took me to Water World, the only water park in Dothan. She was probably a senior in high school or something and she had on this bikini. So, we are out swimming in the big wave pool, without a float, when the waves started. I remember having the thought that I was going to drown and panic set in. So in my haste to get to the side, to get out of the DEEP in, I accidentally grabbed her bathing suite top and it came off and floated to the bottom of the pool. All I remember after that was her diving to the bottom of the pool to retrieve her top. Obviously I survived, but I don't remember how. And I am sure she wanted to kill me, but I will never forget that and I suspect payback will be received at some point.
Second, I have to make a slight confession. As a child I had a small bladder. Actually it was smaller than small, but I had a bit of a problem with wetting the bed. And even to this day if you tickle me I will pee in my pants. I can't help it. (My mom is most likely going to call me after reading this and say something along the lines of "if you ever wanted a political career" or "your career blah blah" but hey, we all know any political career I may have wanted ended the day I started this blog - so, oh well, at least you know the truth.) Its like a dog shaking his leg when you rub his belly. Tickle me and I will pee. So, a family friend who was probably in high school had me on her lap. I said very clearly, "don't tickle me or I will pee on you." She obviously didn't believe me and started tickling me, and sure enough I peed on her leg. I can feel the payback coming at any moment.
I bet you are wondering, "what in the world is she going to do when she has children?" Don't worry I am taking note from my friend with the "rules" and they actually work. I am hoping they will work enough to buffer some of the payback - but hey thats what makes life fun, huh.
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