Brick Walls

Early this morning a friend of mine called and I started telling her about the things that have been going on in my life. She suggested that I write an expose - or at least a book. She said, "I feel like you are living in Bridget Jone's Diary." Maybe I am. I do have similar weight, and the granny panties, but I don't smoke, and I have no men in my life at the moment.

The thing is, I feel like I am being discriminated against on many levels for being - SINGLE. At first I thought, I guess this is a southern thing. Soo many people in the South are completely focused on marriage and family. I have friends that feel like they have expiration dates and if they aren't married by a certain age they are going to go into dark depression. That is crazy if you ask me. And there are some girls I know, that went to certain colleges, that thought their life was over with because they didn't have a ring on their hands by the time they graduated. Nuts.

Honestly, what I loved about living in D.C. is that no one was interested in getting married - ever. No one sat around and talked about "families" or "children". We talked about politics, business, careers, religion and other hot topics. It was invigorating. It was a transient lifestyle and it was fabulous. But over the last several years I have come to real that although conversation was so enlightening, I need more than a transient coming and going of people. I need a balance of different kinds of people, married, single, families, children.

You see I have been on several interviews that have been fabulous - until the end. That is when they start questioning me about whether I am single or not. They want to know if I am "stable." Apparently if you aren't "married or dating" you are considered a nomad gypsy. I had a married friend email this morning and get on her soap box about the issue. She is actually a dentist and does a lot of contract work. So, people will ask her if she is married and when she says yes, they always so "oh good so you are stable." She thinks this is as crazy as I do. In fact she said "I know many people who are in unhappy marriages and are unstable, they just put on a good front."

The other funny thing is, wouldn't you want to hire a single person? They aren't having to leave to go take care of children, pick children up, go to a program at their child's school. Basically, you are going to get more work out of them, AND we might be more stable than people in unhappy marriages.

Its not just jobs either. People exclude others from supper clubs, parties, dinners etc. - again because they are single. Just because I am single doesn't mean that I don't want to be around married people. I am not jealous, and I enjoy married people's company. I think we all have a lot to learn from each other. I am okay with knowing that I am not ready to be married or be in a serious relationship. Hey, it might be the near future when I am ready, but not at the moment.

The entire thing makes no sense to me. Is this just the South? Is it like this everywhere? Is there a conspiracy against single people? Please, give us a break.