Faith

I am always surprised when I have something weighing heavy on my soul and then I go to church to have a part of the service almost bring me to my knees. Why does this always surprise me? Why does it surprise me to go to church and have God show up? It shouldn't - but it does.

Last Sunday, I had so many outside things on my mind during worship. Obviously, I should be trying to keep my mind on worshipping God, but I would be a liar if I didn't admit I sometimes get distracted. Maybe all of you are able to stay completely focused, but I find the stresses of my life come creeping in when I sit still in quiet environments - such as church. So, on this particular morning, I was mainly thinking about where I am going to end up and where I am going to "find community." During the prayers of the people I realized, we, as the church, were praying for people who live alone, and are alone. I heard the same sentiment in a verse from the Psalm, and in a line of one of the hymns. I felt as though God was hearing my stresses in the midst of everything and letting me know he understood.

Then this morning I took the stresses of my week into the service. Again, I was thinking about other things but I was trying to concentrate on worshiping God. A guest priest was presiding over worship - as most of the church was at the parish picnic. I didn't go to the parish picnic because it is awkward for a single person to show up to the church picnic. Say what you will, it is awkward. Anyway, as the sermon began she was rambling about the history of the scripture - when the Pharisees were asking Jesus about eating with unclean hands. I kept thinking to myself, "where is she going with this?" Finally she got to her point - the church can sometimes become so regulated by human measures that we forget the point of what we are doing. Now, this got my attention.

She told a story from a book she read - I found it really intriguing: There was a priest who had a cat that would walk around church during the worship service. The cat was disturbing people so the priest decided to tie the cat to a tree during the service. This continued for several years, until the priest died. Well, after he died the church continued to tie the cat up to a tree during worship services. This continued for several years, until the cat died. Then the church bought another cat for the purpose of having a cat to tie to the tree outside during the worship service. After a while there were books written indicating that it was important during worship, to tie a cat up to a tree. At the end of the story, there were only two people laughing out loud, and I was one of them! Don't get me wrong, I like tradition, but she is absolutely right - human regulation can sometimes lead to loosing the point of what you started out to do. Did I mention this idea of over regulation had been weighing on me all week long?

My point of all of this is to say: it is a comforting feeling to know that even when our souls, hearts, and minds are in the midst of tumult - God can still reach us. I am not sure I will ever get over the amazement of that realization. At times I feel guilty for going to church while I constantly fight off the troubles of this world from creeping into my brain. However, when God starts speaking to those troubles, I realize sitting in church is exactly where I need to be. It is as if God hears the troubles of our souls and is able to use the service to say "I know." That is sheer amazement to me - a kind of amazement that no human regulation could ever form, a kind of amazement that no human mind could ever fully understand, but the kind of amazement that builds faith. So, if you are thinking about lots of other things during worship, don't be surprised if God starts responding in different ways - as someone said to me recently, "there are so many things we will never fully understand." He is right, and what a blessing that is!

Comments

Anonymous said…
Thought provoking and moving!

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