Happy Birthday Granny
I had to go to Alabama this past weekend for Granny's birthday. She turned 80 years old. She keeps telling me she is in the winter of her life. Somehow I think she is going to out live us all.
She has five children, eleven grandchildren, and twenty-five great-grandchildren. Nine of the grandchildren are married - Anna (the youngest) and I are the only holdouts. Apparently, Granny called Anna last week to let her know that her dying wish was to see both of us happily marry. Anna told her that we did not need that kind of pressure. She didn't call and tell me this wish. Everytime she asks if I have a boyfriend and I tell her "no" she says, "the Bible says you need to be fruitful and multiply." I remind her that she has taken care of that for the both of us.
Anyway, we all had to go to church with her on Sunday and they made her stand up so they could sing "Happy Birthday". She told the congregation "they sang Happy Birthday to me last Sunday night at the Baptist Church, but I want you to know I told them a lie. I told them I was 39!" Someone in the church said, "is this confession?" She also told them, "I have been celebrating my 80th birthday all week, and I think it is probably going to stick."
There is one quality that Granny possesses that I have come to love as I have grown older - HER BRUTAL HONESTY. As a kid it would sometimes hurt my feelings when she would say things such as "who cut your hair? That does not look good." Or all the times that she reminded me that I couldn't sing a lick and I needed singing lessons. If she thinks it, she says it. There is absolutely no filter.
The more I live and the more I am around other people, I realize what a wonderful quality this is in a person. There are so many "sideways" people in this world, and it is exhausting to be around them. You know "sideways" people, those that say one thing but mean another. The ones that you are constantly having to second guess to figure out what they mean. There are also lots of people that want you to guess what they are thinking. Somedays I want to say "if I were telepathic, I would be rich and I wouldn't be dealing with you anyway." I find it completely exhausting to deal with people like this.
For this reason, I find myself becoming more and more like Granny. I find her honesty so refreshing. If you ask her how she feels, she tells you. You never waste your energy trying to figure out how she is feeling. And if you ask her opinion, she tells you. I feel like the business world could benefit so much from this honesty. Hell, not just the business world, but all of us, in all of our daily lives!
Example - one of the great-grandchildren, A., was going through the school cafeteria lunch line. The lunch room lady said "would you like a spoon for your mashed potatoes?" And A. said "you got any gravy for those potatoes?" The lady said "no." A. said "well I am not going to eat them anyway." You laugh, but she said exactly what she was feeling. Refreshing honesty.
I was having lunch with some colleagues recently and they were discussing a local area church that was declining in numbers. They were tip toeing around the problem and it sounded as if they were talking in circles. I had never heard of the church, I had no idea the location, nor did I know the history of this church. Finally I said, "what is the problem? You keep talking all around the problem, just go ahead and say what it is you are all inferring but want actually say." They looked at me in such shock, but then they stated the problem and we had a meaningful discussion. It just took someone breaking the ice of honesty - I thought to myself, I sound like Granny.
I am reading this book about dangerous faith, and the writer is actually a pastor of a church in California. One of his parishioners is a teenager who will raise her hand during the sermon and ask him, "what are you trying to say?" I have heard Granny do the same thing. You think I am kidding, but I have heard her talk back to the pastor during the sermon. The writer says that usually when this happens the sermon turns into an interactive service between everyone in the congregation. For him it is very refreshing. (Disclaimer - I am not advocating for people to start questioning their pastors on Sunday mornings. I don't want a backlash from this.)
In honor of Granny's Birthday, I challenge you to me more honest. Just say what you mean and be very clear how you feel. Take one situation you find yourself in and just be brutally honest. I have a feeling you might walking away feeling a little better....
She has five children, eleven grandchildren, and twenty-five great-grandchildren. Nine of the grandchildren are married - Anna (the youngest) and I are the only holdouts. Apparently, Granny called Anna last week to let her know that her dying wish was to see both of us happily marry. Anna told her that we did not need that kind of pressure. She didn't call and tell me this wish. Everytime she asks if I have a boyfriend and I tell her "no" she says, "the Bible says you need to be fruitful and multiply." I remind her that she has taken care of that for the both of us.
Anyway, we all had to go to church with her on Sunday and they made her stand up so they could sing "Happy Birthday". She told the congregation "they sang Happy Birthday to me last Sunday night at the Baptist Church, but I want you to know I told them a lie. I told them I was 39!" Someone in the church said, "is this confession?" She also told them, "I have been celebrating my 80th birthday all week, and I think it is probably going to stick."
There is one quality that Granny possesses that I have come to love as I have grown older - HER BRUTAL HONESTY. As a kid it would sometimes hurt my feelings when she would say things such as "who cut your hair? That does not look good." Or all the times that she reminded me that I couldn't sing a lick and I needed singing lessons. If she thinks it, she says it. There is absolutely no filter.
The more I live and the more I am around other people, I realize what a wonderful quality this is in a person. There are so many "sideways" people in this world, and it is exhausting to be around them. You know "sideways" people, those that say one thing but mean another. The ones that you are constantly having to second guess to figure out what they mean. There are also lots of people that want you to guess what they are thinking. Somedays I want to say "if I were telepathic, I would be rich and I wouldn't be dealing with you anyway." I find it completely exhausting to deal with people like this.
For this reason, I find myself becoming more and more like Granny. I find her honesty so refreshing. If you ask her how she feels, she tells you. You never waste your energy trying to figure out how she is feeling. And if you ask her opinion, she tells you. I feel like the business world could benefit so much from this honesty. Hell, not just the business world, but all of us, in all of our daily lives!
Example - one of the great-grandchildren, A., was going through the school cafeteria lunch line. The lunch room lady said "would you like a spoon for your mashed potatoes?" And A. said "you got any gravy for those potatoes?" The lady said "no." A. said "well I am not going to eat them anyway." You laugh, but she said exactly what she was feeling. Refreshing honesty.
I was having lunch with some colleagues recently and they were discussing a local area church that was declining in numbers. They were tip toeing around the problem and it sounded as if they were talking in circles. I had never heard of the church, I had no idea the location, nor did I know the history of this church. Finally I said, "what is the problem? You keep talking all around the problem, just go ahead and say what it is you are all inferring but want actually say." They looked at me in such shock, but then they stated the problem and we had a meaningful discussion. It just took someone breaking the ice of honesty - I thought to myself, I sound like Granny.
I am reading this book about dangerous faith, and the writer is actually a pastor of a church in California. One of his parishioners is a teenager who will raise her hand during the sermon and ask him, "what are you trying to say?" I have heard Granny do the same thing. You think I am kidding, but I have heard her talk back to the pastor during the sermon. The writer says that usually when this happens the sermon turns into an interactive service between everyone in the congregation. For him it is very refreshing. (Disclaimer - I am not advocating for people to start questioning their pastors on Sunday mornings. I don't want a backlash from this.)
In honor of Granny's Birthday, I challenge you to me more honest. Just say what you mean and be very clear how you feel. Take one situation you find yourself in and just be brutally honest. I have a feeling you might walking away feeling a little better....
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