I Am Headed Up River

I graduate from law school in less than a month, and it is a little scary. I am going to let you in on a little secret, I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. Someone told me on my birthday last year, "Katie, this is your last year of pre-adulthood." Well, if last year was it, I guess my birthday last week marked my first year of "adulthood." I must say, I haven't been in "adulthood" a week yet, but things haven't changed. Again, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

From the time I was about eight until I was in high school I wanted to be an architect. I had this little notebook and I was constantly drawing house plans. I am sure my mother has that notebook somewhere, but it was full of plans that I had drawn over many years. It seems kind of funny when I think back on it. I even had this color coded system, that just came back to me by the way. I don't remember what I was coding exactly, but I do remember a system.

Then in high school, I, or my parents, or my grandparents, or the environment I was in, decided I should go to medical school. I even interned with a pediatrician! Seriously! I saw a circumcision. Interestingly enough that experience came flowing clearly back into my memory a couple of summers ago when a group was protesting in D.C. against circumcision. After seeing one live, I kind of understand, but not really. That is all I am going to say about that.

My first semester of college I took Chemistry 101. Let me give anyone reading this, that may not be in college yet, and has aspirations of going to dental/medical school, some advice, don't take Chemistry 101 your first semester. Just trust me. Anyway, I was one of the best students in lab (thanks to a certain teacher from my high school), but there were only three tests that semester. The weekend after my first test, my professor passed away. It was really sad, and yes this is the truth. Come to find out I had made one of the best grades in the class, but the professor that took over our class wanted things calculated completely opposite from how I had been taught. My grade dropped significantly. I finally decided in the second semester to drop Chemistry 2, and my professor tried to talk me out of it but it didn't work. So medical school was no longer in my sights.

So, what next? Well, I took playwriting, and actually wrote two plays. I took lamp making, I made some lady bug lamps. I took a "theatre make-up" class, I learned how to make myself look older, younger, burned, but not skinnier. (Don't worry I went to a liberal arts college, you can do this and graduate in four years.) But after all the floating around I decided to become a history major. This did not go over quite like I hoped it would. Looking back, I understand, but at the time it felt right to me. Actually looking back I think I should have majored in religion, and I actually discussed it with the Bishop. But he said, "Katie, looking back I wished I had majored in history because I had to take so much religion in seminary." So, who knows? I know a lot about German history and the French Revolution, if any of your kids ever need some information for a project.

At the end of my college career, I had aced procrastination, and didn't have a clear direction on life. I took the LSAT, applied to law school, I looked into clown school - for the record it is very difficult to get in, but through a long story I ended up in D.C. And then an even longer story later, I ended up in law school. Now, I am kind of back to that uncertain place again. I had a professor in college tell me that I shouldn't go to law school, and I was going to be swimming up river my entire life. I must say I found his words very discouraging for a long time. Maybe they have been the force that has made me work so hard in law school. But I suddenly realize, "who isn't swimming up river in life?" If you aren't swimming up river, let me know. Seriously, let me in on that secret.

I think swimming upriver is the journey of life. How nice would it be if you were in a float going down river, taking it all in with absolutely no obstacles? Wouldn't the scenery start to become blah, because you see the same thing over and over and have no appreciation for what you are experiencing? Swimming up river makes this a journey, it makes us take things a lot slower in order to appreciate the scenery. Some days the current is much stronger than others, and sometimes we even reach a nice calm spot to take a break in. Even though I don't know what I want to be when I grow up, I am thankful God has given me the ability to swim upstream. If I couldn't swim it, I wouldn't be able to understand all the blessings he has given me. I would never want to take those blessings for granted. If you feel like you are alone in this, look to the left or right, actually turn around and look behind you, there I will be trudging along with a smile on my face, taking it all in!

Comments

Emily Chappell said…
Maybe you should be a writer. Or host your own talk radio program on XM?
Anonymous said…
Your blog reminded of this quote ...

"There are fish that swim with the current and get swept easily downstream, who are either grateful for the opportunity to relax a bit or take it for granted. But the strongest fishes swim upstream and they usually do so in a group."

I'm glad you've been part of my group heading upstream for these past 3 years. I'm excited to see the wonderful things you will do.

~Ryanne

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