The Ultimate Bargain Hunter
My grandfather was the ultimate bargain hunter. I do not really remember him, but I have heard many stories about him. When he returned from World War II, he drove one of those big rolling grocery stores. For those of you that have no clue what I am talking about, here you go. The grocery stores in the 'big cities' would have rolling stores (large trucks) that drove out in the country and bargained and sold groceries to people. The doors at the back of the truck opened and the people would walk up the stairs and there was a little counter. Literally it was like a small store.
One day he was making one last stop at this farm. The lady came up into the truck and asked if he had any chickens left. He said "matter of fact I do." So he reached in the cage and pulled out the chicken, the woman said "You have any chickens bigger than that." He thought a second and said "sure do." So he put the chicken back down behind the counter, rattled the cage (he only had one chicken left) and pulled the same chicken back up. She said "that one is perfect!"
Then one time a store in my hometown was going out of business. The last week that they were in business he went everyday to see the bargains. So, one day he went and they had a table full of flannel shirts, all on sale for one dollar. He decides it is such a good deal he buys the ENTIRE table. My grandmother flipped out when he got home with all these flannel shirts. So, for the next couple of months whenever people would come over to visit he would say, "what size shirt do you wear?" He gave most of them away!
On Sundays he would go through the ads in the papers and then go drive all over town saving a couple of cents here and a couple of cents there. My grandmother said "you are loosing the money you are saving in gas." He would always say, "well I just like seeing the town."
There was also the time he went to Kmart because they were having a sale on Charmin toilet paper. When he got home the entire back seat of the car was filled up with toilet paper. My grandmother said "are you expecting an outbreak of diarrhea?" The thing was though, they only allowed you to buy two packages of toilet paper at a time. So, he bought two, put it in the car, then went back and bought two more and just went to a different cashier. He basically bought two packages from every cashier that was open.
The best of all is when my parents got married. My mom only had a maid of honor and my grandfather was my dad's best man. They wore grey three piece suits for the wedding, it was the seventy's. Anyway, my grandfather didn't try on his suit when he bought it, oh yeah, it was on sale. So, the day of the wedding he couldn't get the vest to button because it was too tight. He took the scissors and just cut the vest up the back so that it would meet and button. People, the man had skills.
One day he was making one last stop at this farm. The lady came up into the truck and asked if he had any chickens left. He said "matter of fact I do." So he reached in the cage and pulled out the chicken, the woman said "You have any chickens bigger than that." He thought a second and said "sure do." So he put the chicken back down behind the counter, rattled the cage (he only had one chicken left) and pulled the same chicken back up. She said "that one is perfect!"
Then one time a store in my hometown was going out of business. The last week that they were in business he went everyday to see the bargains. So, one day he went and they had a table full of flannel shirts, all on sale for one dollar. He decides it is such a good deal he buys the ENTIRE table. My grandmother flipped out when he got home with all these flannel shirts. So, for the next couple of months whenever people would come over to visit he would say, "what size shirt do you wear?" He gave most of them away!
On Sundays he would go through the ads in the papers and then go drive all over town saving a couple of cents here and a couple of cents there. My grandmother said "you are loosing the money you are saving in gas." He would always say, "well I just like seeing the town."
There was also the time he went to Kmart because they were having a sale on Charmin toilet paper. When he got home the entire back seat of the car was filled up with toilet paper. My grandmother said "are you expecting an outbreak of diarrhea?" The thing was though, they only allowed you to buy two packages of toilet paper at a time. So, he bought two, put it in the car, then went back and bought two more and just went to a different cashier. He basically bought two packages from every cashier that was open.
The best of all is when my parents got married. My mom only had a maid of honor and my grandfather was my dad's best man. They wore grey three piece suits for the wedding, it was the seventy's. Anyway, my grandfather didn't try on his suit when he bought it, oh yeah, it was on sale. So, the day of the wedding he couldn't get the vest to button because it was too tight. He took the scissors and just cut the vest up the back so that it would meet and button. People, the man had skills.
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