Surprise Me
I have been obsessed with bread lately. At first, I had this obsession to learn to bake bread. Someone gave me some Amish bread mix, but it got lost in my car. If you know me, then you understand how it got lost in my car. Needless to say, it didn't work out, and I didn't make Amish bread.
Then I decided I needed a bread machine. My friend Tim offered me one that was randomly in his office at work. Something about that idea made me say - no thanks. Granny offered me her bread machine, but I didn't feel right about taking it from her - she might actually use it and I would probably loose it somewhere in my car. In the end I kind of gave up with the bread machine.
However, my friend Michelle suggested I try this really simple bread recipe. You take a pint of ice cream and 1 1/2 cups of self rising four, mix it together and bake if on 350 degrees for 40-45 minutes. The first time I tried the recipe, I used butter pecan ice cream and some old self rising flour. I thought it tasted pretty good, but mom said it was "rank." So, I decided to give it another shot. This time I tried it with Ben & Jerry's "Imagine Whirled Peace" and I bought brand new flour - it was really good. But I still have this desire for more, bread.
So, this past Sunday, I got up and put on a dress and went to church. I was running and little late and slipped into the pew amongst the other single people. Did you know that there is usually a section in every church for single people? I really am not kidding. In this new church I have been attending, the single section is in the back left. It is odd - look around your church and I promise you will see this migration to a particular section. Anyway, during the service I realized why I have been having this obsession with bread recently - I am hungering for Jesus. I think I have been sitting on empty.
For so long I begged God to lead me and when he did, it frightened me - it frightens me. Have you ever felt like that? You know, the times when you ask God for something ambiguous and when he answers you realize - wow, what was I thinking asking for something so ambiguous? Tonight a friend of mine told me she has been asking God to "surprise" her. My knee jerk reaction was to say - "seems risky." This whole thing makes me wonder if people like Noah prayed some ambiguous prayer we don't know about. Honestly, the more I think about it, I wouldn't be surprised if Noah prayed "surprise me God" and then a little while later God said, "okay, surprise, build an ark."
Sunday the priest reminded me that Jesus is the bread of life. John 6: 35 says "I am the Bread of Life. The person who aligns with me hungers no more and thirst no more, ever." God has given me the manna to sustain myself during this time, but I have been overlooking the "real" bread - Jesus. Oh yes, I still read my Bible and go to church, but I haven't been open to the Spirit because I am afraid where that might lead. What if God says, "build an ark" or even harder "give up all your possessions and follow me." Yes, I think it would be harder to give up possessions than build an ark - people already think I am crazy and strange so building a big boat wouldn't be that out of the blue.
My point is this - I have been building a wall around myself for the fear of the unknown. My fear has left me hungry and craving bread. It has led me to admire my friend who can so easily say "surprise me God." Imagine if we could all just let down our fears of the unknown and allow God to surprise us? Besides all the arks that may start appearing, I think there would be a lot less spiritually hungry people in this world - including myself. So this day, I pray we can fling our arms open and ask God to surprise us, to help us not fear the unknown, and thank God for the Bread of Life, which revives us when we find ourselves on empty.
Then I decided I needed a bread machine. My friend Tim offered me one that was randomly in his office at work. Something about that idea made me say - no thanks. Granny offered me her bread machine, but I didn't feel right about taking it from her - she might actually use it and I would probably loose it somewhere in my car. In the end I kind of gave up with the bread machine.
However, my friend Michelle suggested I try this really simple bread recipe. You take a pint of ice cream and 1 1/2 cups of self rising four, mix it together and bake if on 350 degrees for 40-45 minutes. The first time I tried the recipe, I used butter pecan ice cream and some old self rising flour. I thought it tasted pretty good, but mom said it was "rank." So, I decided to give it another shot. This time I tried it with Ben & Jerry's "Imagine Whirled Peace" and I bought brand new flour - it was really good. But I still have this desire for more, bread.
So, this past Sunday, I got up and put on a dress and went to church. I was running and little late and slipped into the pew amongst the other single people. Did you know that there is usually a section in every church for single people? I really am not kidding. In this new church I have been attending, the single section is in the back left. It is odd - look around your church and I promise you will see this migration to a particular section. Anyway, during the service I realized why I have been having this obsession with bread recently - I am hungering for Jesus. I think I have been sitting on empty.
For so long I begged God to lead me and when he did, it frightened me - it frightens me. Have you ever felt like that? You know, the times when you ask God for something ambiguous and when he answers you realize - wow, what was I thinking asking for something so ambiguous? Tonight a friend of mine told me she has been asking God to "surprise" her. My knee jerk reaction was to say - "seems risky." This whole thing makes me wonder if people like Noah prayed some ambiguous prayer we don't know about. Honestly, the more I think about it, I wouldn't be surprised if Noah prayed "surprise me God" and then a little while later God said, "okay, surprise, build an ark."
Sunday the priest reminded me that Jesus is the bread of life. John 6: 35 says "I am the Bread of Life. The person who aligns with me hungers no more and thirst no more, ever." God has given me the manna to sustain myself during this time, but I have been overlooking the "real" bread - Jesus. Oh yes, I still read my Bible and go to church, but I haven't been open to the Spirit because I am afraid where that might lead. What if God says, "build an ark" or even harder "give up all your possessions and follow me." Yes, I think it would be harder to give up possessions than build an ark - people already think I am crazy and strange so building a big boat wouldn't be that out of the blue.
My point is this - I have been building a wall around myself for the fear of the unknown. My fear has left me hungry and craving bread. It has led me to admire my friend who can so easily say "surprise me God." Imagine if we could all just let down our fears of the unknown and allow God to surprise us? Besides all the arks that may start appearing, I think there would be a lot less spiritually hungry people in this world - including myself. So this day, I pray we can fling our arms open and ask God to surprise us, to help us not fear the unknown, and thank God for the Bread of Life, which revives us when we find ourselves on empty.
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